


Dennis Returns

by tellnotales



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Canon Compliant, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Jealousy Issues, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Tags to be added, and back, dennis is a bastard man, if you still haven't watched it mild spoilers, in love but also in denial, references to the first ep of s13
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-09
Updated: 2018-09-12
Packaged: 2019-07-08 21:07:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15938306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tellnotales/pseuds/tellnotales
Summary: Mac was out, and gay, and deep down Dennis had known that he was gay for him from the start. But neither of them could look the either in the eye because of it. The goddamn sex doll was always in the way.





	1. Dennis Returns

Living together with Mac after so many months without - it was like crawling back into the cold side of bed. Dennis could see Mac's back was still turned to him despite the shiny eyed smile that had greeted him back in the bar.

The sex doll still lingered in the apartment like something sentient, always watching, judging, mocking. He thought he could even hear it make snide comments about him - his face, shiny and pale; his figure, thin and weak.

His knuckles were permanently white from constantly tightening his fists. Mac carried it around with him wherever he went, even with him back. The damn doll had taken a space that had been entirely his, carved out a small niche that Mac decided to protect with all his heart.

He should be flattered, really it was _him_ that Mac had yearned for. He couldn't be replaced entirely by a silent polystyrene flesh lamp with empty, piercing eyes. His eyes.

Dennis ran a hand through his immaculate hair, watching with derision as Mac flitted through the apartment cleaning and wiping everything down. He had soon gotten used to watching his doll form bend over and get a bleach enema from his roommate at least once a day.

Mac was out, and gay, and deep down he had known that he was gay for  _him_ from the start. But neither of them could look the either in the eye because of it. The goddamn doll was always in the way.

Mac hadn't asked questions. Nothing about Brian Jr. or his new family life. Why he was back, how long he would stay. Perhaps he was afraid by touching too many buttons he'd press the one that would make him leave again.

What a fucking pussy.

"Dude, I'm right here, do you have to do this now?" Giving him shit was just a return to the status quo.

Mac looked up from the bleached asshole. "I'm done, dude. Plus you've seen me do this a million times. I'm trying to keep it sanitary."

"It? You don't need it anymore, Mac."

Mac raised his eyebrows. "Well until I get a boyfriend, this is what I'm going to be 'dumping my loads' in, if you don't mind."

"I do mind!" Dennis nearly shouted. "That's my goddamn face on it. At the very least, cover that up when you're ripping it a new asshole."

"Hey, the image has nothing to do with the experience. Frank and Charlie didn't seem to mind either."

"Frank has fucking issues, if you haven't noticed. He changed my diapers, he shouldn't get that intimate with my simulated rubbery ass by _principle_."

"Whatever, dude. You all have some huge daddy issues."

"Coming from the guy who wanted me to tell him I love him in his dad's voice?"

This bickering was familiar, fine even. Despite the subject being surreal to the point Dennis doubted he'd woken up in the right reality, this level of fucked up intimacy was recognizable. Was home.

Mac pulled up doll!Dennis's pants, and positioned him uncannily in the same way Dennis had arranged himself on the couch. "When are you going to come back to work Den?"

Something in his heart made a tiny scream as it died. He ignored it. "When I'm good and ready. Plus I told you guys already. I'm back, but I'll be out more than in."

"What are you - Never mind."

"Spit it out already."

"I didn't say anything." Mac gave him the wide cheesy smile that usually lifted the cheeks that begged to be cupped between his hands. But the idiot had gone off and decided to lose all softness in his face - now his chin was sharp, chiseled even, and his cheekbones were high and defined, making his cheeks appear hollow. He looked younger than ever. If Dennis didn't know any better the urge to sit on said face was reasonable, respectable even since Mac had gone full stallion. It would be like sleeping with himself back in his college days.

Dennis had trained himself to look Mac in the eyes  _only_ since he'd also taken to throwing his shirt off at random points in the day. Charlie had advised him to ignore it as it was only a cry for help. Dennis agreed that the display was pathetic, nauseating even, though the way his legs kept crossing and uncrossing quietly disagreed.

Dennis glanced at his watch, noting it was 11 in the morning. Normally a time to get to the bar to hatch schemes and squander the rest of his youth and life away shitting on everyone else in the gang. But the times he had to come in were very strict. He didn't want to pay more than he needed to.

"I'm off," he announced, ignoring how Mac's face fell before quickly being lifted into apathy.

"When will you be back?"

Dennis looked at him, then at his watch. "I'll let you know, buddy. I'll check in once it's over."

Again, everyday Mac avoided asking what he was doing. Where he went regularly every week, a few times a week, at the same times on the same days.

Dennis thought even Mac couldn't be that dense. He'd given him the number to the mental health hospital in North Dakota, for gods' sakes. Not that Mac or anyone in the gang had used it to reach him. Not once.

Maybe he was too cowardly to not ask why. They hadn't missed him, they were better off without him, he was easily replaceable - he stared at the doll coldly before he left the apartment he shared once again with his best friend.


	2. Mac Bangs a Sex Doll

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow i tried writing smut for the first time .. and could not keep a straight face. im sorry if it turned out more disturbing than hot. kind of explicit but nothing to write home about! :]

The scene that greeted Dennis when he came home and opened the apartment door almost made him leave for North Dakota again.

The appointment had gotten off early, so Dennis had gone straight back to what he'd expected would be an empty apartment. Mac should've been at work.

Instead, the distinct and unmistakable sounds of a bed furiously creaking penetrated Dennis' ears like an ice pick. The door to Mac's room wasn't even closed, but cracked open wide enough for the loudness and intensity of the banging to be evaluated by a sex connoisseur.

7/10, Dennis thought; he crept closer, walking slowly to the door and standing before the crack. Too much speed, not enough attention to detail.

Mac's newly jacked back rippled with movement and power. His shoulders dimpled and winked at him furiously as his pelvis pounded - no, mercilessly destroyed - rubber Dennis' asshole. Dennis giggled at how ludicrous it was Mac had shucked his shirt to have sex with a doll - exactly who was he trying to impress right now?

The doll was on its back, in missionary position. Its hands were pinned above its head by one of Mac's, one of its thighs spread by the other, bent back at a bizarre angle. The other leg had been folded beyond human ability behind the doll's head like a pillow.

Dennis realized with a burst of fire in his guts that Mac's tastes were even less ... vanilla than his.

From afar, unable to see its blank, gaping hole of a face, Dennis admired his profile and Mac frantically working over him. Mac's stamina had apparently increased with his strength, he noted. Three minutes of deep, violent penetration? Mac had finally joined the big leagues.

Mac didn't bother stifling his groans in what he thought was an empty apartment. Dennis remembered the last time they watched porn together - it was nothing like the real thing, apparently. They had been nowhere near as guttural, raspy, and animalistic. To be frank, he had been whiny and breathless, had given Dennis wide pleading eyes when he commanded him not to cum before the Golden God did-

Dennis nearly doubled over as his knees trembled and threatened to give out. His limbs turned to jelly.

Mac was fucking him - Dennis watched it happen. Mac somehow managed to stare into rubber!Dennis' eyes the entire time. Dennis decided he might have a fixation on his baby blues.

"Dennis dennis dennis dennis dennis-" Dennis heard Mac pant. The hand holding Dennis' wrists together wrapped around the rubber neck and squeezed hard enough to make it squeak.

Dennis brushed his neck with fingertips, watching, mesmerized. He suddenly couldn't breathe. Just like the doll.

Mac cursed, slamming harder inside. The doll seemed to shake with pleasure. Dennis trembled. The force of his thrusts caused the leg tucked behind his ear to tumble out. The doll seemed to spread its legs wider. Mac's moans increased in volume until his biceps and chiseled glutes suddenly stiffened, and relaxed. The doll stared at the ceiling, mouth gaping in a silent scream.

Dennis turned heel and ran for his life. He dashed outside the stifling apartment with an equally stifled boner.

Hopefully Mac hadn't heard the apartment door open or close, but Dennis surmised he'd been focused on blasting rope into his rearranged rubber guts.

His legs were still trembling, and a flush had spread from his cheeks to every part of his body. His breathing came harsh and fast.

He pressed himself against the wall outside their apartment, hand clutching at his neck. He experimentally squeezed, imagining his hands were bigger, stronger, less bony and more sure.

His eyes flew open as the bulge in his pants throbbed and threatened to burst. If Mac came outside now, Dennis was sure it would. Unsolicited and untouched.

He whined quiet in his throat as he imagined Mac pinning him there - his hands above his head, shirtless, giant new muscles pressing him harder into the wall as his pelvis smashed against his, brutal and unforgiving, punishing him for leaving... teeth on his neck and no room to breathe, or think, or feel anything but fire.

The door to their apartment opened, and Mac stepped out, fully clothed and shiny faced, carrying a wallet and blabbing into his phone. As he turned to lock the apartment back up, he looked up and jolted as he caught Dennis' deer in the headlights stare.

"Whoa! You scared me dude." He hung up, pulled out his keys and pushed the door open. "I'm just heading out to the Wawa's, then I'll be off to the bar. You're back kinda early. You going in?"

Dennis had gotten stuck on the ruffled state Mac's hair was still in, sweaty and fluffy and curling down onto his forehead. He opened his mouth but only a strangled "yes" escaped.

please don't look down please don't look down

Mac frowned. "You okay? You look kinda sick. Do you have a fever?"

He stepped forward and cupped the back of his neck, pressing his forehead against his. Dennis choked. The smell of sex wafted up to him. He wasn't sure if it was his hormones pouring out through his pores or Mac's sweaty afterglow.

"You're feeling kinda hot," Mac said, alarmed, pushing him back into the apartment. Dennis let Mac's hands curl around his arms and hustle him in.

"I-I'm not, Mac," he rasped. "I just- went for a run. Fuck off to the Wawa's, okay? I'm fine."

"You sound like shit too, fuck." Mac rummaged through the cabinets before extracting Ibuprofen and Tylenol. He poured a glass of tap and watched Dennis reluctantly down it.

The cool water did some to quench his thirst, physical and metaphorical, but he remained carefully seated on the couch with his legs crossed, concealing the tent in his tight jeans.

"Lie down," Mac commanded. Dennis' heart exploded. Gave out. Too weak, he mumbled, "No."

"What, dude, just lie down so I can cover you with this blanket!" Mac carried a dark blue quilt Dennis knew hadn't been in his hands a second ago.

Dennis snatched it and wrapped it tightly around himself like a cocoon, his face the only part left visible. "There, happy? Now leave."

"Christ, you're a bitch when you're sick," Mac rolled his eyes. He sank into the couch beside Dennis's feet and gently removed his shoes for him. Undid the laces and pulled them off, set them on the floor neatly.

Dennis's heart leaped into his throat at the formerly familiar treatment. Only Mac was allowed to treat him like a kid - so gently, and without question, that he hadn't realized in North Dakota how much he missed this.

"You're gonna be fine, Den, just keep drinking water and watching TV." Mac flicked on the TV and set it to Maury. He knew Dennis enjoyed the ridiculousness and misery of others.

"I know," Dennis said petulantly, just to be difficult. His face felt less hot, his skin less tight. Instead of wanting to jump out of it and into Mac's, he lay cozy and comfortable and soft as the blanket thrown over him.

"You seem a lot more better, Den," Mac said softly. 

"What, already? You think you're Jesus or some shit, Mac?" 

"No, I'm talking about... about your mood swings. You don't get as angry as fast, you know?" Mac glanced sideways at him, refusing to look him full in the face. "And you don't... get as sad either." 

Dennis's heart sunk back into his chest and began to throb. Every beat felt too tight, his heart too large for his constricting chest. 

"Where the hell is this coming from Mac? Actually, I don't care. Didn't you say you had somewhere to be? Go ahead and be there already, asshole." He kicked at him from under the blanket, toeing Mac's side harshly. Mac swatted his foot off and stood, staring. 

The irony of Mac commenting on his issues when he had just caught him violently fucking a hideous sex doll meant to replace him, his roommate and best friend and worst enemy and not-lover, had Dennis seeing red. He didn't dare jump out and catch Mac red-handed though, as Mac might get the wrong idea about why he'd run out instead of confronting him. Mac was an idiot, a muscle bound freak, but even he might take it the wrong way if he wanted. 

His round brown eyes seemed to be on the verge of asking something, or making another inane comment, but he just shrugged and headed out the door. "See you in a few hours, Den!" The locks slid into place behind him. 

Dennis exhaled sharply, and threw the blanket off him to the floor. He sat up, looked up, and made eye contact with the empty eyes that had seen the whole scene, perched across from him at the kitchen table. 

Dennis screamed.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! if you wanna scream about s13 or macdennis hmu @borninsun on tumblr. comments and kudos are lovely and always appreciated!


End file.
